No, seriously. I'm about to tell you all about yourself as of December 31st, 2009.
First, the basics. You are 22 years old, you graduated from The College of New Jersey on May 15th, 2009 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in History, and you've been happily dating Melissa for over 2 1/2 years. The good news, you have a great job working as a clerk for the U.S. Census Bureau. The bad news, you still live at home with your parents.
Why, you ask?
You currently have $44.05 in your bank account. Your monetary ventures since graduating from college, to put it lightly, have been a little less than lucrative. Still, you've managed to succeed modestly, gaining valuable political campaign experience as a Field Director for the Atlantic County Democratic Committee and as Communications Director for the Hammonton Democrats. And, even though every single candidate you worked for lost, you managed to gain respect from everybody involved. I think the energy from that experience carried over to your current job, where the people you work with are really fun to be around and you get great benefits like "working 40 hours a week" and "daily lunch breaks" and "getting paid."
In other news, Melissa's job at the library has allowed you to catch up on your reading (Her decision to pursue a career in Library Science, in addition to being awesome, stands to benefit you greatly). In just the last couple of months, you've read 5 1/2 novels, including the first of Isaac Asimov's Foundation series, Do Android's Dream of Electric Sheep?, and Dune. And though you haven't been able to keep up with video game culture as much as when you were 13, you picked up the latest Western RPG for Christmas, Dragon Age, and it's pretty freakin' awesome...
..Wait, stop. Will my potentially 53 year-old self think that Dragon Age was important enough to include on an annual life update? (I certainly hope so, but probably not.)
Moving right along, the national political stage has been in shambles for the past year or so, particularly since Barack Obama took office on January 20th, 2009 (you were there by the way, the inaugural address was awesome!). From the cries of "Socialism!" and "Death Panels!" on the right to the Filibuster-proof Democratic Senate dropping the ball on the public option and voting for a piecemeal version of Healthcare Reform on Christmas Eve, American politics has been a roller coaster ride of laughable proportions. I'm sure you'll be a much better judge of this year's historical importance (Behold! The power of hindsight), but I'd say we've accomplished a lot.
So, that's you in a nutshell. Also, the events of 2009. Also, video games for some reason. I hope this has been informative (entertaining?). Regardless, I'll be back next year for another update.