Sunday, August 9, 2009

"Hello again" and "The internet has officially destroyed my attention span"

Wow. It's been almost three months. Please excuse me while I list my excuses for not blogging...

I was:

1) Looking for jobs
2) Getting back in shape
3) Re-earning lost college credits...
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63) Dead at the time...
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546) Scaling Mt. Evere...
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87767) I'm stupid

There. Now that that is over with. Let's pick a subject and begin where we left off (Not politics, that's like my job now).

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I'm currently rereading the Lord of the Rings trilogy because I am the paramount manifestation of cool. Much like the guy who calmly walks through a ghost town wearing awesome sunglasses and long trench coat that flaps badassedly in the wind,


I sit alone in my room catching up on the lore of a fictional race of midgets with hairy feet.


Those two are pretty similar, right? ..Right?

So, I was reading The Fellowship of the Ring when I realized that I have absolutely no attention span when reading a book. My thought process goes something like this...

"Setting down his lilies carefully on the grass, he ran to the tree. There he saw Merry's feet still sticking out--the rest had already been drawn further inside. Tom put his mouth to the crack..." LOL "...and began singing into it in a low voice." I wish they included Tom Bombadil in the LOTR movies. But, no, I don't. It just wouldn't have worked. I was bored to tears the first time I read about him. Now, though, I'm a much better reader. Maybe I should reread a lot of the stuff I hated in high school. Nah, that stuff sucked. "...'I was too careless on the hill-top,' answered Strider..."Wait, Strider? When did Aragorn show up? Aww shit, I did it again. Now I have to go back and reread like..three chapters. Damnit, I don't feel like it.

And then I put the book down and don't pick it up for a month. Does this happen to anybody else, or am I functionally retarded?

1 comment:

meloogal said...

I always complete every single book that I pick up. In one sitting. Especially the ones with long, detailed sections concerning small men singing and dancing in a wood with elves and dwarves.

I don't know what YOUR problem is.