Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Getting started...

Fact number 1: Ellipses will henceforth become the most important of all punctuation types...

Seriously, the internets has been my business for what will be eight years in the months to come, and there is nothing I've taken more advantage of than the ellipses. It is not and shall never be used in its original context, that of splicing written material together to form a sketchy argument for some paper in some class in hopes that some weary-eyed professor will merely gloss over all of your trite and boring arguments and fail to take notice that you started this awful excuse for a research paper at 1 AM the night prior..amirite?

Also, run-on sentences, fragments, spelling errors, etc. etc. shall be considered for their true artistic merit, else you will find yourself thoroughly disappointed in what you will be reading. And next on the list...

...
...
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..(wait for it)

Assumptions. As of right now, I assume either everyone or no one is reading this, and, therefore, I can and will say whatever I want. Yay..!

Alrighty, time to really get started. I'm Matt and... ... ... ..that's all I've got. The details of my life are pretty average and don't make for much in terms of reading material. So, instead, I'm going to ramble. For a long time. And then I'm going to keep typing. Even though I have nothing to say. And I'm going to use periods before they need to be used. Annoyed? Good. I'm glad.

Still reading? Why? Por Que? Por Quoi? (What's that? Three languages? "Yeah, right," says you.) And the voices in my head that may or may not be readers are correct. I do not, in fact, speak/write in three languages. I can say a few things, mostly really impractical things such as, "Voila! Un passporte! (Look! A passport!), Yo no hablo espanol (I don't speak Spanish), Et maintenant le voyage a supermarche (And now, a trip to the supermarket) etc. etc. ad nauseum.

My English is pretty decent, however, considering I've been speaking it for about 19 years as my primary language. You know you can speak a language relatively well when you start altering words and phrases in a ridiculous mocking way (Stoooarp!) (Delorcious!).

Wow, I'm stupid. And bored. And tired. I'm not even going to read this, and I feel awful for those that do...

Welcome to my blog. I'm Matt, and for as long as I feel like keeping up with this, you can enjoy (read: suffer terribly) reading and posting comments about how I should, for the love of God, cease and desist.

Time for bed...

-Matt

2 comments:

meloogal said...

So many ellipses!

It burns!!!!

Please, for the love of God, cease and desist!


Just kerding. This is the cutest blog entry of life.

Laura said...

Blogging is fun, huh? Clicked on your link from over on Crystal's page. "Boos, injuries, etc". Good for you for writing :) Enjoy.