The first presidential debate...

Post 150!!!

The first presidential debate has happened. It lasted 97 minutes. The moderator, Jim Lehrer, was disappointing. His questions addressed broad concepts rather than clear issues, and he did a terrible job keeping the candidates in check. He was supposed to moderate the debate. Instead, he posed questions that allowed the candidates to recite their talking points and argue semantics without having to cite their sources. John McCain took full advantage, extending his answers well beyond the alotted time and changing the subject with long-winded anecdotes. Barack Obama had the decency to ask Lehrer to continue at one point, but he, too, was guilty of taking advantage of Lehrer's meekness. Hopefully, the next two debates will have better moderators.

As for the actual content, John McCain kept his cool better than anybody expected. For the majority of the debate, he answered his questions with a level head, but most of his responses had zero substance. Half the time, Senator Obama had to interrupt him because he was supporting his points with pure falsehoods. Barack Obama successfully rebutted dozens of times throughout the night. His constant interjections of "Not true, John" did well to dismantle many of McCain's tired talking points.

The climax came during a question on dealing with foreign leaders, when John McCain vehemently disagreed with Barack Obama on the importance of talking with Ahmadinejad of Iran. McCain forcefully defended his refusal to talk to aggressive foreign leaders, while Obama dismissed him as erratic and undiplomatic. This exchange showed Senator's McCain's true temperament, a frustrated man whose worldview is racist and Americacentric. The best jab came when Obama asked McCain if he'd refuse to meet with Spain, referencing McCain's gaffe last week. He had no response.

The closing remarks of the candidates were particularly important. Barack Obama spent several minutes talking about the world's opinion of the United States. Having recently spent several months abroad, his vision of bettering America's standing on the international stage resonated with me deeply. McCain's closing remarks on placing trust in his experience did not.

The outcome of this debate will not be considered the best case scenario for either candidate. John McCain, on the surface, was able to hold his own. Elementary investigation into his points would reveal his inadequacy as a candidate, but that doesn't mean he will lose any blind supporters. I think Barack Obama successfully strengthened his base support and his performance will usher left leaning independents to his side. It's too early, however, to declare a winner.

-Matt

You can't beat our meat...

Unless, of course, our pork is drawn to look like a giant penis. Then, I guess, you COULD beat our meat. If you really wanted to...

-Matt

Looking up...

A couple of days ago, towards the end of my shift, I happened to notice something wonderful. Though the primary purpose of carrying a camera is to ward off attackers with a blinding flash, capturing photographs is a little known secondary feature. Abandoning a customer desperately in need of a pretzel, I zombily* shuffled outside to photograph a phenomenon...
Ooooohhhhh...

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...

Later that evening, I was visited by extraterrestrials. A brilliant spherical light appeared in the sky above me. It remained stationary for several minutes, then disappeared behind a cloud. Moments later, it reappeared. For several hours, it hovered motionless in the sky. I was able to capture a photograph of the UFO...
I apologize for the graininess. My camera doesn't take night photos very well, so this is the best that I could do. I'm truly honored to have witnessed such a profound moment in history. I ask that everybody lay down their arms, hold hands, and welcome our new alien overlords in peace..;-)

-Matt

*-No, it's not a word. Yes, I used it anyway.

Fail...

I didn't even make it halfway..:-(

-Matt

I'm out of ideas today...

Thirteen days of NaBloPoMo hath sucked away all of my ideas. Here we are. Today, I went to work. I came back from work, defrosted some Italian sausages, and read lots and lots of political articles. Nothing new today, except Barack Obama is now losing the election...

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.. I'm hoping the presidential debates change that. I can't imagine anybody will watch them and see John McCain as a more capable man for president. The first is Friday, September 26th at 9 PM EST. Also, Sarah Palin finally did an interview. Our potential vice president didn't know what the Bush Doctrine was. Good...

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...
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..I'm sorry for today. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better...

-Matt

Elementary school throwbacks...

This semester, I'm taking Math 101, officially titled Math for Liberal Arts Majors. Yes, it's bullshit. I knew that going in, but it's a requirement to graduate, so there isn't much use in complaining. Twice a week, I'm treated to a dull lecture by an ancient man about different types of elections (plurality votes, weighted votes, etc.). I struggle to maintain consciousness. On Tuesday, I lost the battle before leaving my house. Today, I made it all the way to the math building...

I sat down in my usual seat, center row, three seats from the front. The professor called my name...

"Brinn?"

"Yes?"

"We made a seating chart last time, you weren't here."

"..Okay?"

"Well, that seat is taken, you can't sit there."

I looked around. Half the class hadn't bothered to show up. There were no less than ten empty desks.

"Um..ok?"

"Now, you can sit in any of the seats up front, or move back two seats."

"Wait a minute. I've been here every class except the last one. I've sat in this seat every time. Who sits here?"

"Doesn't matter, I have a seating chart, you can sit two seats back."

I gathered my stuff and moved two desks back. The class collectively chuckled. Nobody came in late to claim my former desk. I now sat in the last row, all by myself...

A seating chart? In COLLEGE???

I knew I looked a bit young for my age, but this... ... ..what's next? Scheduled bathroom breaks? Snack time? Recess?

I know...

It's nap time...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

-Matt

Cheating...

Here's ANOTHER article. We NEED to DO something. James Carabelli, the head of this blatant offense to the American people, must be called out...

(586) 731-6217

Call the Macomb County Republican Headquarters and tell them to cease and desist. The word needs to get out, tell everybody you know to do the same...

A late night excursion...

A couple of months ago, HBoO and I went to a local diner in Trenton, NJ. At 3 AM. Where else do you go when you crave a delicious slice of blueberry pie during hours that some describe as "wee"? For reasons unknown, I ordered a hamburger instead of pie. Don't blame me, I think I was drunk at the time...

HBoO ordered waffles with ice cream. It was the most delicious meal that you could have at 3 AM in Trenton. Our waitress' name was Melanie. Melanie was a former heroine addict who now worked the 12-6 AM shift at a Trenton diner to keep herself away from dealers. I don't judge her, heroine is expensive. I did chuckle, however, when she handed me this...

"Dude, last night was awesome! I entered this all-you-can eat wing contest and ate 75!!"

"That's nice, but I've got you beat. Last night, I consumed an entire German city."

"Dude, shut the fuck up."

"No, I have the documentation to prove it!"

"... ... ... ... ... ..you win."

:-D

-Matt

What the hell, America...

I'm following this year's presidential race very closely. I use Electoral Vote to keep track of whose ahead. They've developed a brilliant algorithm that compiles polling in every state to figure out where the candidates stand with electoral votes. Yesterday, Barack Obama was ahead 301-224. That's a huge margin, enough so that no cheating at the polls on election day could change the outcome. Today, it's a lot closer, 281-230. That's a 26 vote shift in less than 24 hours...

What caused the shift? Could it be an article from Time magazine that destroys Sarah Palin's lies about her fiscal responsibility? Or was it Barack Obama's truthful (albeit slightly hypocritical) refutation of Sarah Palin's verbal attack on our Constitutional rights? In truth, it's neither of these. The reason why the McCain/Palin ticket is flying high is that they are hogging all of the media attention...

The day Palin was announced to be McCain's VP, the internet EXPLODED with anti-Palin hate articles, some ground in hard facts that would obliterate most Vice Presidential Candidates, but others that were a leftist version of pure Rovian lies. A message to all of the political blogs, news media, and anybody that is outraged over how awful Palin is. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

You are right, everybody knows it, but you are ruining this election. Her pick was a TRICK and you fell for it. Obama was way ahead in all the polls, his acceptance speech was the stuff of historical legend. This election would be wrapped up right now and we'd be on our way upwards if it weren't for the entire country's obsession with demonizing the most underqualified VP pick in our nation's history. Enough people know that the McCain/Palin ticket is godawful, but your constant hate mongering is siphoning our nation's attention away from what matters. Do you want nuclear war with Russia? Do you want our economy to continue spiraling downward? Do you want to be jailed without trial for exercising our first amendment rights?

Of course, you don't. Stop talking about Palin's Troopergate and let's focus on some real issues. Namely, how the hell I'm going to get a job next year in the middle of our worst recession since the Great Depression...

-Matt

Everybody call their local election office...

Earlier today, I read this article . If you are a first time voter, or you've recently changed your address, go here and make sure that you are registered. Apparently, voter registration offices are violating the National Voting Registration Act by purging duplicate registration forms without contacting people. Millions have already been purged. Battleground states are the most affected, so there may be some foul play involved. If you plan on voting in November (which you SHOULD), call and make sure you are registered. We don't need another fixed election destroying our Democracy..!!!

-Matt

Jonah Hill isn't the only one...

Cool people know what I'm talking about. The rest of you should watch this..;-P

-Matt

I've played Spore...

Two years ago, I saw this video. Every day that has passed since, I've waited with crippling apprehension...

Yesterday, the wait was over. Somebody torrented Spore, and I was on that shit immediately. The game is now mine, and I've been playing it almost non-stop since last night. As a single celled organism, I've chowed down plant matter. As an awkward two-legged beast, I've danced to impress stronger creatures, sang to the point of embarrassment, and spat poisonous goo at my enemies. In the tribal stage, I've beaten the shit out of rival chieftains with axes. Unfortunately, twelve hours after I had so innocently began, I was forced away from my computer to pee. It was a desperate struggle to avert my eyes from the awesome.

I have yet to play the 'civilization' stage or the 'blow the fuck out of whole planets with giant lazers like Darth Vader' stage, but I can only assume that they are as good or better...

I'd like to take this time to apologize to my professors. If stopping to pee was that difficult, I can't imagine how I'll ever leave the house to attend class. I'm sorry, but I don't think it's going to happen. I'm sure you'll understand...

For those that don't know, playing a highly anticipated video game is much like scoring a vial of crack in a back alley after going a week without eating or sleeping. Your heart races causing increased blood flow, serotonin and dopamine is released, and you slip into a dream world for several hours as real life concerns fade into the past. When, for whatever reason, it's time to stop playing, your body feels drained, your stomach pangs with hunger, your eyes bloodshot from the intense focusing and the lack of sleep, but your mind wants more. Eventually, you feel nothing but pain. You play on. As your grades drop, your friends stop calling, and your family casually mentions something about a nice doctor who would love to talk about my deep seeded issues, it dawned on me that it just wasn't worth it. BUT I COULDN'T STOP!!! I played on, through carpel tunnel, through arthritis, through the horrible stench of weeks without bathing. My boss fired me, my car was repossessed, my landlord terminated my housing contract, but, sitting in a Starbucks, I played on. One day, my hard drive crashed. It was all over. I wept for days, then, I died...*

Every word of the above story is true. Learn from my mistakes, and avoid Spore at all costs, or you, too, will suffer a similar fate...

-Matt

*-Based on a true story. Certain events may have been exaggerated or fabricated.

Let's talk about John McCain...

I saved this one for last because it is the most important. Last night, John McCain made his acceptance speech. On the surface, it was generic, uninspired, and devoid of substance. After a second glance, however, it becomes a harrowing look at our potential future. John McCain must not be elected in November. Using only last night's speech, I'll tell you why...

1. If elected, John McCain will preemptively strike Iran and start a war with Russia.

Though he touts himself as the candidate with the most foreign experience, John McCain spent little time talking about his foreign policy. However, in a few short sentences, he promised global war with nuclear consequences.

"Iran remains the chief state sponsor of terrorism and on the path to acquiring nuclear weapons. Russia's leaders, rich with oil wealth and corrupt with power, have rejected democratic ideals and the obligations of a responsible power. They invaded a small, democratic neighbor to gain more control over the world's oil supply, intimidate other neighbors, and further their ambitions of reassembling the Russian empire. And the brave people of Georgia need our solidarity and prayers."

Iran is not the chief state sponsor of terrorism, that title belongs to Saudi Arabia. Fifteen of the nineteen 9/11 hijackers were Saudi. Osama Bin Laden was a native Saudi. War with Iran is senseless, unfounded, and irresponsible. Russia did invade South Ossetia, but not for oil. Georgian forces, trained by the United States in Iraq, launched a preemptive strike to reclaim South Ossetia, leveling the city of Tskhinvali and killing 2,000 civilians. Russia responded with force because ten of their soldiers were killed in the attack. In supporting Georgia so steadfastly, John McCain is telling the American people that he is prepared to start a war with Russia.

2. If elected, John McCain will not hear his dissenters.

Last night, towards the beginning of his speech, an Iraq war veteran named Adam Kokesh held up a sign that said "McCain Votes Against Vets", referring to several instances where McCain voted against bills to give veterans better pensions and health care. Amid soaring chants of "USA! USA! USA!", McCain quickly curbed his anger, smiled, and said, "My friends, my dear friends...please don't be diverted by the ground noise and the static," as Kokesh was handcuffed and dragged out of the building by several security guards. This tells me that John McCain has no ears for a second opinion. If anybody objects, perhaps even a majority of U.S. citizens, he will not hear it.

3. If elected, John McCain will, once again, employ trickle down economics.

On paper, it might work. In practice, see Herbert Hoover, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush. John McCain wants to cut taxes for wealthy business owners and maintain or increase taxes for everybody else.

"Cutting the second highest business tax rate in the world will help American companies compete and keep jobs from moving overseas."

No, it won't. Reorganizing our education system so that it teaches our children a variety of skills suitable for a constantly evolving workplace will keep our jobs from moving overseas. American companies already compete pretty damn well. McDonalds, Starbucks, and Wal-Mart come to mind. It's the people who work for these companies that spend their money recklessly and stimulate our economy. Giving them more cash can only help our situation.

A vote for this man, more than continuing the failed policies of George W. Bush, will further degrade our international standing, throw us into a deep depression, and trample our civil liberties. A vote for John McCain is a vote to destroy the ideals this country was founded on in the name of ignorance and false securities.

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This is the end of my profiles on our candidates. You make the choice, you be the judge. No matter what, though, make sure you DO choose, because apathy is infinitely worse than any candidate in the history of American politics. Participation is vital. Don't squander your opportunity to take part..:-)

-Matt

Let's talk about Barack Obama...

In my last entry, I said that I was voting for Barack Obama in the upcoming presidential election. In this entry, I'm going to explain why...

The first time I heard the name Barack Obama was back in September 2007 while eating a slice of pizza at a local restaurant. The TV positioned above the doorway was tuned to MSNBC, the volume just loud enough to be audible. The issue being discussed was Barack Obama's lack of patriotism due to the absence of a flag pin on his lapel. I distinctly remember the camera turning to a very serious Hillary Clinton who said, "I wear a flag pin on MY lapel, I don't understand why somebody who loves this country wouldn't!"

At that moment, I knew I would not be supporting Hillary Clinton...

The next time I heard news of Barack Obama was in February. The primary race between him and Hillary was neck and neck, the articles plastered all over the internet. It was about this time that the Jeremiah Wright "scandal" came to prominence, one of the lousiest fabrications I've ever seen the mainstream media latch on to. Not only was the quote "Goddamn America" taken completely out of context (I watched his entire sermon, it was one of the best condemnations of tyrannical policy that I've ever seen), but Jeremiah Wright had absolutely nothing to do with the campaign. I'm glad it happened, though, because Obama's response was the most mature speech on race in recent history. From then on, Barack Obama had my full support.

Then, something happened that nearly crippled my hope for the future of America. In late June, the house and the senate passed an updated FISA bill which granted retroactive immunity to the telephone companies that participated in the warrantless wiretapping extravaganza that occured under the Bush administration. The bill set a precedent saying that phone companies could spy on American citizens without their knowledge and not be held accountable for violating the fourth amendmant of the Constitution. When I learned that Barack Obama supported this bill, I was upset. What really broke my spirit, though, was when he announced that he'd filibuster against the portion of the bill that granted retroactive immunity. He refused to follow through, a lie that betrayed his core supporters and called the message of his entire campaign into question.

After months of thought and research, I've returned to the Obama camp, albeit with a much more pessimistic view of America and its politics. I now know that Barack Obama is not campaigning for me, the twenty something cynic. He is campaigning for the average American. The poorly educated, xenophobic, apathetic average American. And that's fine. There are millions more average Americans than there are of me and, in this country, they are more important.

When elected, Barack Obama WON'T balance our budget. He WON'T put an end to the fundamentalist drivel that pervades our education system. He WON'T usher in a new cultural revolution that garners the respect of our international peers, and he WON'T stop the corporate lobbyists from running our government with their bottomless bank accounts.

However...

Barack Obama WILL be a well-spoken and intelligent face for America. He WILL diplomatically discuss foreign policy issues with world leaders, hopefully earning our country some international respect. At home, he WILL be the positive face that the poor and middle classes desperately need.

When I vote for Barack Obama, it won't be because he is a demi-god capable of solving our mountain of foreign and domestic issues. I'm voting for him because he understands the wants and needs of the majority of the American people. He cares deeply for the average American, something that is integral to running this country, but also something that I will never understand. This November, I cast my vote for Barack Obama, the man willing to sacrifice everything he has to inspire a backwards nation to work for a better tomorrow.

-Matt

Let's talk about Ron Paul...

Last night, the former Republican presidential candidate, Ron Paul, made a speech addressing the issues of our country. Dr. Paul is a wonderful statesman, a great orator, and a Godsend to the floundering mess that is the Republican Party, but I would never vote for him. He has given hope to millions of apathetic citizens across the nation, and, for that, I respect him more than any of the other candidates. But, I fundamentally disagree with many of his policies. This is dangerous territory for an internet geek such as myself, but I feel like I have a valid and informed argument...

First, I want to talk about the positive aspects of Dr. Paul's campaign. It started as a grassroots effort, which I think is awesome, and he spoke to a demographic of people that is so largely overlooked by our politicians, tech nerds and internet people. For years, we have been the disgruntled voice of the 'other'. No candidate, celebrity, Playboy spread, or new device was beyond our criticism. Who could possibly win over such a disillusioned group?

Then, about a year ago, a tech savvy friend linked me to this video, and told me that this was the first time he had ever been excited about a politician. I congratulated him on his new found interest in politics, but dismissed the candidate as a radical idealist who would never make a difference...

A couple of months later, the internet buzz hit and Ron Paul was suddenly a champion of liberty and a symbol of hope for America. You couldn't refresh your browser without seeing a new Digg article about how awesome he was. But, much like I predicted, the Neoconservatives in control of the Republican Party dismissed Dr. Paul as an extremist and threw their support behind the terribly unprepared John McCain. The debate seemingly over, I turned my attention to the Democratic primary, mainly focused on supporting Barack Obama in his lengthy race against Hillary Clinton...

My interest in Paul was rekindled after the FISA debacle. I was a full-fledged Obama supporter, and while his voting for the FISA bill hurt, it was his lies about filibustering that made me second-guess my support for him. Unlike many of my internet peers, I didn't immediately denounce him, but my hopes for his candidacy were changed forever. I started reading up on Ron Paul, and was excited to learn that his movement hadn't been stifled by his inability to get elected. When I heard that he was organizing a rally to combat the Republican National Convention, I was ready to throw my full support behind him. Here was a man that had a sense of respect for his beliefs and the beliefs of his fellow Americans. He was unafraid when faced with opposition, and he refused to play the silly game that the mainstream media used for better ratings...

But then I realized something...

A strict constructionist view of the Constitution didn't work for our founding fathers, and it won't work now. Thomas Jefferson, the leader of the strict constructionist movement at the turn of the 19th century, realized that adhering to nothing but the document was severely limiting. He won the presidency in 1800. It was called the "Revolution of 1800", because, prior to that, George Washington and John Adams enacted Federalist policies that technically undermined the powers given to the executive branch by the Constitution. Jefferson's election was supposedly meant to reverse these policies for the greater good of the nation. When he took office, he realized the National Bank, a Federalist creation, was working really well and decided to keep it. Furthermore, in 1803, he made the Louisiana Purchase, doubling the size of the nation. It said nothing in the Constitution about the government's power to purchase land, but Jefferson did it anyway, because he knew that it would be good for the country. I don't discredit Jefferson for reversing his policies, it was good judgement on his part to put the nation first and his personal beliefs second.

This anecdote shows a historical precedent for Ron Paul's movement to drop all policies that aren't laid out by our Constitution. He holds a praiseworthy position, and many of his beliefs, particularly about the War on Drugs and the War in Iraq are in league with my own. However, the complexities of our current republic, flawed though they may be, are much better suited to deal with the issues of the 21st century.

I'm voting for Barack Obama, not because he is a perfect candidate, but because he understands how our system works and will be a driving force in bettering our image abroad. He won't solve all of our problems, but he will make us feel better about them...

-Matt

To all potential cat owners...

Behold, your future. It shall be filled with painful scratches and bleeding buckets of blood...

If only I could train him to unleash his paws of fury on my adversaries, the world would be MINE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Until then, I guess I'll just rely on the mice to enact my evil plans of doom...
-Matt

Everything should be free...

Sometimes, I go to book stores. What's nice about a book store is that they let you use their merchandise, then leave without paying. You can't do that in other stores. I'd like to walk into a kitchen appliance store, use a blender to make a delicious smoothie, then leave. What a shame that kitchen appliance stores are not as cool as book stores...

I'm a free sample whore. When you ask what someone's favorite day of the year is, most will respond with Christmas or their birthday. Not me. Free sample day at the supermarket trumps all. Let's think about it...

One day, you go to the supermarket expecting to buy your food. On this particular day, however, all the food is free. Not only is it free, but friendly faces are cooking and serving the food to you as you browse. It's like tailgating without having to pretend you like sports. Can you imagine a better scenario? I submit that you cannot!

What if other stores had free sample day? What would happen if you walked into Best Buy and a series of randomly placed tech geeks were handing out free video games? What if Victoria's Secret had underwear models providing girlfriends everywhere with free laced panties? I'll tell you what would happen...

Everybody would do all of their shopping on the various free sample days. Corporate profits would fall drastically. The drop would result in millions of workers nationwide being laid off, not because of their bosses' inability to provide paychecks, but because everybody would be at home playing free video games while lying in their free beds eating free cheeseburgers and getting lap dances from their girlfriends who happen to be wearing free laced panties. The global economy as we know it would crash, wars would end, and all of the lobbyists and politicians would have nothing to argue over...

What..?

I can dream, can't I..?

-Matt