Throughout history, groups of male mammals have competed against each other for the role of alpha male, the manliest man. The guy who is so manly, that women swoon in his presence and other men bow down to the epicosity of his manhood. Traditionally, as is observed in less intelligent species, men do this by finding food, fighting off predators, intricate mating rituals etc. etc.
As humans evolved, these expressions of manhood became more and more complicated. Instead of fighting off the competition by merely finding the most food or grappling, manliness had progressed into the realm of stunning feats of expressionism. Growing thick hair on his face and chest, the manly mountain men of days gone by would wrestle bears, build log cabins, and feast on wild boar and Indian flesh all with their bare hands. These stunning acts of manliness were done for the same reasons, to impress the opposite sex. Today, these rituals are looked upon by modern men as the glory days of manliness. In our 21st century society, these acts have been replaced by much more mundane activities like eating spicy hot wings, taking shots of progressively more potent and disgusting alcoholic beverages, being negligent to one's significant other to "watch the game" and other acts of questionable intelligence. Still, these actions, for one reason or another, are still looked at as a beacon of masculinity...
I am not an alpha male, probably not even a beta male. No, I'm a geek that enjoys unmanly activities such as:
Eating sushi and other foods that are not deep fried, rolled in bacon, fried with lard and grease then dipped in pig fat...
Going to art museums and...
...going to broadway musicals, any event that isn't "the game" and, finally...
Spending a day off taking artsy farts pictures of nature (instead of hot gurlz makin' out and me and my brah's at da club)...
So, despite the fact that I ate the manliest man breakfast for men today, I'm not a manly man, I'm just a geeky guy...
-Matt
1 comment:
you're my fave geeky guy
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